Oscar Hangover… Fashion Edition

 

 

Well, the 2011 Academy Awards are a wrap, and overall they were a mostly predictable set.  The only category I perceived as an upset was Best Supporting Actress, which I thought belonged to Hailee Steinfeld, seeing as how I knew the Academy would never give Jeff Bridges back-to-backs and True Grit deserved at least one acting award.  Seriously, I had never heard of Melissa Leo before last night.  That said, however, how cool was it that she said “F***in'” on a nationally televised live broadcast of what is generally the stuffiest of award shows?  She got bleeped, yeah, but still, giggle points.  Love her, now that I know who she is, and just wanna let her know she should fire the stylist responsible for that sad dress so she can completely burn up the Awesome-o-Meter. 

Since the rest of the awards were pretty much exactly what everybody expected, I’m going to focus on the other Big Deal about Oscar night:  the clothes.  Fluffy makes no secret of loving The Fashion, and Oscar is also fashion’s biggest night:  we actually get to see what those runway looks do for people in a (sort-of) real life situation.  So who makes my cut, and whose outfits deserve to get cut up (with pinking shears and a machete)?

Let it be known that Fluffy is no fan of the Baby Bumps, having been scarred for life by Alien at a Very Young Age, and the sight of pregnant bellies generally gives me the squicks– I keep expecting a weird creature to pop out and start singing “Ragtime Gal”– so sue me for being an awful person already!– but I give points to Best Actress winner Natalie Portman and her designer, Rodarte, for making it work for her.  I love the earrings, too.

Jennifer Hudson looks amazing in this Versace creation.  The color is gorgeous and she is, too.

Mila Kunis’s wisp of an Elie Saab dress is a lovely–and little-seen– color too, but I’m not too sure about the neckline.  Is that decorative lace or Li’l Kim-style pasties?

Hailee Steinfeld is beautiful and completely age-appropriate in ballet-pink Marchesa.

 

 

Mommy, the bad lady scares me!!!!  Oh, it’s just Annette Bening wearing a slipcover.  I thought it was that troll that used to live under my bed.

 

 

No, Marisa Tomei, it’s not a Halloween party, and Elvira’s hair is actually much bigger than that.

 

This is the woman I envy more than any other on the planet, Susan Downey.  She is incredibly beautiful, has exquisite taste– this dress is so simple, yet absolutely perfect— and check out the ultimate accessory:  her husband.

Florence Welch, what. what. WHAT are you WEARING???  At least when Scarlett O’Hara made a dress from the curtains, she started with a quality heirloom set of drapes.  You can’t make those cheap Wal-Mart window treatments work as red-carpet fashion.

“Access Hollywood”‘s Maria Menounos takes Fluffy’s Best-Dressed Award in Johanna Johnson.  Just. Perfect.

Hey, look, it’s Princess Vespa!!!

 

Oh, Cate.  I want to love this dress.  I really, really do.  But it just doesn’t look finished for some reason.  The focal point is… missing something.  I don’t understand the Nothingness at the center of the circle.  Maybe I am just too prosaic to get the metaphor.  There should be some kind of beadwork there, or a couple of contrasting chiffon panels in that yellow shade on the shoulders to give it some continuity, or even a statement piece of jewelry or a buckle-like embellishment of some sort.  Instead there is…nothing.  And the dress needs a flutter or tulip sleeve, not…whatever that is.  It looks like the designer– GIVENCHY!!– just gave up mid-sketch.  So sad.  It’s ALMOST beautiful, which is IMO more depressing than outright Fugliness would be.  At least Blanchett is prettily put-together otherwise.

Also let it be known that I am actually a fan of Helena Bonham Carter’s (un)usual offbeat style, which, with the help of Alice in Wonderland costume designer Colleen Atwood, she channeled well for a look which, while red-carpet appropriate, stayed true to her personality.

 

Manifesting her inner CJ Lamb, Winter’s Bone‘s Jennifer Lawrence wore a Baywatch lifeguard suit with a skirt attached.

 

I’ve seen a lot of hate online for Nicole Kidman’s Dior dress, but I’m digging it.  Don’t care for the shoes, though.

 

Halle Berry is always stunning on the red carpet, and this look is no exception.  Now I’m torn.  Can I make the Best-Dressed Award a tie?  She looks like friggin’ Aphrodite rising out of the sea or something.  She didn’t even need to ACCESSORIZE.  There aren’t adequate words to describe how great she looks.  God, I love Marchesa.

Frankly, Scarlett, we don’t layer our Victoria’s Secret and call it outerwear.  Madonna quit wearing that look about twenty years ago, and it ain’t coming back, dear.  Not gonna happen.

 

Sharon Stone for some reason reminds me of a cobra about to strike in this Dior number.  Not in a good way.

 

Reese Witherspoon looks really cute in this Armani Prive, but then she would look good in a potato sack. Loving her hair, but the dress itself is kind of boring.

 

Sandra Bullock’s fire-engine red Vera Wang really does nothing for me.  It’s just sorta there.  Not a big fan of the Vera;  her yawn-inducing designs just hang there like bolts of fabric at Jo-Ann, devoid of any interesting detailing or wow factor.  Yeah, there’s a big bow on the butt, but in front it’s strictly meh.  Not saying Sandra looks bad, because she doesn’t.  I’m just not into Vera Wang.

 

And of course, Worst-Dressed honors go to Christian Bale’s chin.  Unless he is undergoing one of those grueling transformations he does in order to play one of those guys from ZZ Top.

 

You didn’t think I forgot about Anne Hathaway, did you?  Not at all– I just saved the best for last, as every one of her eight (EIGHT!) outfits was ah-mazing…

Now THAT is Valentino (and fire-engine red) done right.  Take note.  Hard to believe that Florence Welch’s Wal-Mart curtain dress came from the same fashion house, isn’t it?  I tell myself that Welch’s get-up was Valentino’s idea of a little joke, just to see if anyone would actually wear it.  Well, as PT Barnum said, there’s one born every minute.  But I digress.  More Hathaway:

This medieval-flavored vanilla gown is courtesy of Givenchy, proving that they CAN finish their sketches there if they feel like it.  Anne just glows in it, and the loose locks give the whole look the feel of a pre-Raphaelite angel painting.

 

The next change was into a menswear-inspired ensemble by Lanvin.  A lot of bloggers are proclaiming it their least-favorite costume change, but I personally love it, having once rocked a very similar outfit myself as the hostess of a school beauty pageant my senior year, long, long ago.  My outfit featured a sparkly vest instead of the full jacket, but the effect was much the same– I had some killer heels, too, black satin with crystal bows, (though mine were assuredly not custom made by Brian Atwood and the crystals were NOT Swarovski)  and even wore my hair in the high ponytail (though this was the 80’s and my ponytail was spiral-permed).  This look is one of my favorites from Anne’s hosting gig.  I wonder if I can still fit into my satin pants… once again I digress.

 

This Vivienne Westwood ball gown is another of my favorites.  We all know that Anne can pull off the princess look without looking like she’s being eaten alive by yards of killer fabric, and this drop-dead gorgeous dress is a more grown-up version of the dream dresses I used to draw as a fluffy little tot.  Perfection.

 

This Oscar De La Renta was so cute, I had to include two pictures– In Motion and Not.  I’ve always wanted a dress with that kind of fringe.  So rock’n’roll!

 

The Atelier Versace was apparently Anne’s favorite, since she put it back on to wear to Vanity Fair’s after-party.  The eye-catching beading accentuates her tiny waist and the deep  cranberry color is perfect for her.  Ah, what I wouldn’t give for the figure to wear that, and someplace to wear it.

 

This sapphire blue blows me away.  I’m going against the trend of bloggers bashing this Armani Prive dress, because it works for her.  You could literally go swimming in that color, and the design itself, though simple and a little Star Trek, has great lines and a lot of wow.

 

Personally, I found the lace Tom Ford column dress odder than the Armani and a tad severe, but it still looks good on her and I’d definitely wear it myself.  The pretty chignon and the earrings pull it together for a winning look I love.

Well, there you have it– Oscar fashion according to Fluffy.  There were plenty of other dresses, but those were the ones that stood out to me, good or bad.  I own none of the photos.  Most of them are from Getty Images, AP, or EW.com, and I have included credit tags where they were available.  Feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comments, which are always appreciated!

 

 

 

 

 

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