Yes, it’s award season again, so Fluffy has a lot of blogging to do. As you know, Fluffy couldn’t care less about who actually wins the various statuettes for (supposedly) stellar work in film, music, and so forth, but has a heck of a lot to say about what people wear to these events, and gives out her own set of awards after each red carpet, universally known as the Fluffies to the maybe ten of you who read my blog. Tonight’s edition focuses on the star-studded American Music Awards. Music awards shows such as the AMA’s and the Grammys are typically more relaxed than other red-carpet events, but this year, surprisingly, turned out to be (mostly) a glam-fest. On with the show, this is it!
CATEGORY: MOST IMPROVED
Ginnifer made me bang my head helplessly on my desk at the Emmys. Such a lovely girl, such a hideous costume. However, at tonight’s AMA’s, she has completely and utterly redeemed herself in my book. This adorable blush-pink Oscar de la Renta is the epitome of the type of gamine, Audrey Hepburn-influenced glamour she should aspire to. The makeup, the hair, the strappy silver Jimmy Choos, the coordinated Judith Leiber bag… she’s done it all absolutely right this time. And I want this dress. Seriously, I do.
CATEGORY: SURPRISE OF THE NIGHT
Who knew that Ke$ha, on a normal day so gleefully trashy, could glam up so well? I have been unable to discover the maker of her uncharacteristically classy pink lace minidress, but her look is almost Old Hollywood-Lite, with the only out-there elements in the form of some jarring, chunky black heels and an earful of spiky earrings. Is this a sign of things to come for this girl? If so, I’m all for it.
The “Pretty Little Liars” actress went for simplicity in this Elizabeth and James LBD, but the addition of brilliant red pumps and statement jewelry make the look anything but dull. Everything about this outfit keeps the spotlight not on the clothing itself, but on Lucy, which is where it belongs.
CATEGORY: THE GOLDEN DISCO BALL
CATEGORY: THE MATRONLY SET
GLORIA ESTEFAN AND KERRY WASHINGTON
The legendary Gloria Estefan sports a rather dowdy Talbot Runhof gown which is saved from looking like a mother-of-the-bride ensemble only by its oddly lovely, iridescent fabric. The usually slick Kerry Washington plays it a little too safe in this canary yellow Stella McCartney number, which in spite of its sheer areas looks a little too much like a church dress. The mismatched Louboutins don’t do the outfit any favors, either.
CATEGORY: FABULOUS WITHOUT TRYING
Among the parade of evening gowns and glamour wear, Gwen stood out in a totally fierce way in this Balmain ensemble featuring a textured velvet blazer and leather pants. While Fluffy appreciates the merits of a beautiful gown, Gwen truly looks the part of a rock star rather than a princess here, and it works perfectly.
CATEGORY: MOST EXOTIC
Jordan’s Etro gown has a vaguely Bollywood appearance, and while it is a tad busy, it isn’t too over the top, and the striping accentuates her curves. Jordan wisely didn’t over-accessorize this look, and the result is whimsical rather than fugly, which in the hands of a lesser stylist it certainly could have been. Mad props.
CATEGORY: ANGELINA CALLED, AND SHE WANTS HER LEG BACK.
It was the leg that sparked a thousand memes, and apparently imitators, too. Jennifer’s Abed Mahfouz dress lends itself easily to an Angelina impression, but, unlike the dress Angelina wore at the Oscars, lacks the simple “oomph” factor and looks like a cheap knockoff. I know, I know, other than the slit and the fact both are black, the dresses are not similar, but this gown (not to mention Jennifer’s pose) is so reminiscent of the other one that I can’t help but compare, and this one comes up lacking.
CATEGORY: SHE’S GOT LEGS, SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM
(TIE) HEIDI KLUM AND STACY KEIBLER
Unlike the previous dress, both of these dresses illustrate how to show a little leg the right way. Heidi, in Alexander Vauthier, continues her trend of revealing but classy outfits that show off her still-smoking figure. Stacy, in Collette Dinnigan, proves that her red-carpet glamour of last awards season was no fluke.
CATEGORY: PROM NIGHT REDUX
(TIE) CARLY RAE JEPSON AND CARRIE UNDERWOOD
To be fair, neither of these gowns are awful. But they look too familiar. Carly Rae’s Gomez Gracia, in pale pink, is pretty, but not particularly noteworthy, and Carrie’s purple Abed Mahfouz feels recycled since Carrie has worn this type of sparkly, high-necked frock too many times before. Neither of them really stand out, but instead blend in, like a couple of popular chicks at the prom who set the standards and therefore are doomed to look uniform.
CATEGORY: THE SHINING STAR
(TIE) ELISHA CUTHBERT AND PINK
Elisha’s golden Georges Chakra dress is pure wow. Though its lines are simple, its stripes give it appeal and keep its shimmery fabric from looking like a candy wrapper. Pink, in Catherine Deane, is almost as much of a surprise as Ke$ha. This is an unusually conservative look for the singer, but the dress itself, a glowing bronze with a cutout bodice and flowing skirt, is anything but.
CATEGORY: WORST DRESSED
Cyndi wins this one with no problem. The plaid doodad, freaky goth stockings which in no way go with the plaid doodad, the clunky, Minnie Mouse-like shoes, and the look on her face all scream “Fire the stylist!” I don’t know the designer. I really don’t want to know for fear of the memory of this get-up tainting my future opinions.
CATEGORY: BEST DRESSED
(TIE) TAYLOR SWIFT, NICKI MINAJ, AND HAYDEN PANETIERRE
This is the second time in the history of the Fluffies that there has been a three-way tie for Best-Dressed honors, and Taylor Swift figured into that mix, too. She always looks ah-mazing, and it just seems fair to allow others a chance to shine as well, especially since all of these dresses are equally worthy. Taylor’s Zuhair Murad mini shows off a lot more skin than Miss Swift usually does at red-carpet affairs, what with its abbreviated length and plunging back, but its relatively high neckline and long sleeves keep it classy. In yet another surprise, Nicki Minaj donned a gorgeous Monique Lhuillier mermaid-styled gown in chartreuse, and planted herself squarely in best-dressed territory. Nicki is usually known for her wild and crazy outfits, but this one is nothing but beautiful. Hayden is absolutely perfect in this flirty, floaty silver mini with sweetheart neckline and double spaghetti straps, but I have sadly been unable to find out who the designer is. And check out those awesome shoes!
SPECIAL CATEGORY: THE FLUFFY AWARD
For you regular readers, you know the significance of this award. For you n00bs, the Fluffy Award represents the outfit that best exemplifies Fluffy’s personal aesthetic. In other words, the one I’d pick out for myself. Like Fluffy, Xtina is a curvy girl, and this Pamela Roland dress plays up the curves without pandering to the lowest common denominator. I love the ombre purple, the flow of the fabric, and the structure of the design. Everything flatters everything. I would so rock this.
So, what did you think of the red carpet this time? Agree with Fluffy’s choices? Got beef? Let me know in the comments, which are welcome and much appreciated! All images are from Getty. All opinions are my own. 🙂