Some Off-Season Fluffy Awards…

We all know that with the Oscars, awards season officially ends.  But that doesn’t mean there are no red carpet looks to be seen until the fall.   Monday night’s Met Gala, known as “the Oscars of fashion”, brought the stars out in all their glory once again.  Punk rock was the supposed theme of the evening, but there was a lot of variation.  Some good, some bad, and some ugly… just another night in the celebribubble.

CATEGORY:  MOST IMPROVED

ANNE HATHAWAY

rs_634x1024-130506173618-634.hathaway.ls.5613_copyAnne had a really lousy award season, but this slick Valentino almost redeems her.  It’s a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, but it’s totally fierce and ahem, displays the theme very well.

 

CATEGORY:  CUTEST

HAILEE STEINFELD

rs_634x1024-130506162252-634.hailee.cm.5613Are they sequins?  Are they beads?  No, they’re safety pins!  Hailee is rocking a leather Donna Karan that’s all blinged out with the stereotypical punk accessory, made over into something completely glam.

CATEGORY:  DULLEST

(TIE) GWYNETH PALTROW AND KATIE HOLMES

rs_634x1024-130506172518-634.paltrow.ls.5613_copyrs_634x1024-130506164143-634.holmes.cm.5613Gwynnie’s Valentino isn’t doing it for me.  It’s a great color and a luxe fabric, and a huge pile of disappointed potential– it’s just kinda hanging there, drama-free.  Katie’s Calvin Klein looks like she escaped from either a toga party or the pound, what with that flea collar around her neck.

CATEGORY:  ACCESSORY HALL OF SHAME

(TIE)  SARAH JESSICA PARKER AND NINA DOBREV

rs_634x1024-130506172849-634.sjp.ls.5613_copyrs_634x1024-130506180833-634.nina.cm.5613Make no mistake, these are both awesome gowns.  The problem is what’s going on around them.  SJP is wearing a Giles Deacon with metallic graffiti detail, and it’s all well and good.  But she had to go and top it off with that freaky Philip Treacy hat thingie (remember Treacy?  He was the one who told Princess Beatrice that wearing a toilet seat on your head to your cousin’s wedding was a good thing).  Dear God, she looks like a rooster.  Or a Chinese Crested.  As for Nina, her sheer, bustier-topped Monique Lhullier is gorgeous, but it needed an UNDERSKIRT, not those leggings.  Way to ruin a good thing– the top was punk enough.

CATEGORY:  WILDEST

BEYONCE

rs_634x1024-130506175359-634.beyonce2.ls.5613_copyBeyonce’s Givenchy is a real showstopper, all flames and attitude.  But it’s the matching gloves and boots that really make the look unforgettable.

CATEGORY:  DRAMA QUEEN

BLAKE LIVELY

rs_634x1024-130506183814-634.lively.cm.5613Blake’s Gucci is absolutely breathtaking.  The gothic tiered train and silvery accents are just perfect… and there’s not much else that can be said.  Marvelous.

CATEGORY:  THE DARE-TO-BARE AWARD

(TIE) EMMA WATSON AND NICKI MINAJ

rs_634x1024-130506175901-634.watson.cm.5613rs_634x1024-130506170035-634.minaj.cm.5613Two very different looks, but both very daring.  Emma is all grown up in Prabal Gurung that leaves very little to the imagination.  Nicki’s sapphire-blue Tommy Hilfiger is a little more conservative, but still shows off a lot of skin.  Also– props to Emma for best shoes of the night and Nicki for best hair.

CATEGORY:  GODDESS AWARD

UMA THURMAN

rs_634x1024-130506174923-634.UThurman.ms.050613_copyIgnoring the theme entirely, Uma went Old Hollywood in Zac Posen and looks like a million bucks.  Just beautiful.

CATEGORY:  WEIRDEST

CAMERON DIAZ

rs_634x1024-130506181237-634.diaz.cm.5613Cameron’s Stella McCartney… is a pretty color.  But there aren’t enough WTF’s in the universe to describe everything else about it.  The whole conglomeration looks so tight she oughta be having trouble walking, let alone moving her arms under that also-extremely-tight-looking capelet thing, and the inch long spikes on that belt… Oh. Em. Gee.

 

CATEGORY:  THE SHOULD’VE KNOWN BETTER AWARD

(TIE) STACY KEIBLER AND KRISTEN STEWART

rs_634x1024-130506183544-634.keibler.cm.5613rs_634x1024-130506181640-634.kstew.ls.5613_copyFashion-wise, Stacy can usually do no wrong.  And there’s really nothing wrong with her Rachel Roy minidress– it’s actually totes cute.  But even the classiest among us can have the occasional misstep, and those horrible hoof booties are a tragedy.  And there was once a time when Kristen looked pretty good on the red carpet, or at least like she didn’t hate the world, but this Stella McCartney onesie  in exactly the wrong color would make me look pissed off, too.  This was a serious contender for Worst-Dressed, but then I saw something far, far worse…

CATEGORY:  WORST-DRESSED

KIM KARDASHIAN

rs_634x1024-130506170004-634.kimye.cm.5613Kim’s baby-daddy Kanye West looks dapper and handsome.  Kim is using pregnancy as an excuse to wear the most horrible clothes EVER.  Givenchy should hang their collective heads in shame over this Riccardo Tisci-designed monstrosity.  It had to be doing time as a slipcover in a nursing home somewhere before it was culled–uh, called– to fashion duty.  For one thing, it boasts the hand equivalent of footy pajamas– handy pajamas?  Neither the cut nor the material nor the pattern nor the sheer oddity of the whole getup flatters the very preggo Kim in any way.  Hands down (see what I did there?), the worst outfit I’ve ever seen on any red carpet, anywhere.

CATEGORY:  BEST-DRESSED

(TIE)  JENNIFER LAWRENCE AND EMMY ROSSUM

rs_634x1024-130506181652-634.jlaw.cm.5613rs_634x1024-130506162011-634.emmy.cm.5613Jennifer and Dior are like peanut butter and jelly– they just go great together.  The adorable little black dress is all blinged out and wonderfully accessorized with killer shoes and a mysterious  face veil.  Emmy’s Donna Karan is as ethereal and lovely as the young lady wearing it.  Both are incredible.

SPECIAL CATEGORY:  THE FLUFFY AWARD

MARION COTILLARD

rs_634x1024-130506181033-634.marion.cm.5613Once upon a time, Dior sent Marion an orange beach towel and bade her wear it to a red carpet event, which she obligingly did.  To make up for the fashion equivalent of sending the poor girl on a snipe hunt, the fashion house has been supplying her with great frocks ever since, each better than the last, culminating in this amazing ombre creation infused with all the colors of a summer sunrise.  For you newbies to my blog, the Fluffy Award best represents my own personal style, and I need this dress.  NEED it.  Oh, and the shoes, too.

There you have it, my lovelies… see you next time.

 

 

 

 

 

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