It’s been a long award season. Maybe it’s only seemed long because I’ve covered it more exhaustively here than in any year in the past, or maybe it’s felt like a slog in the absence of a reliable style darling a la Lupita Nyong’o to anticipate at each ceremony. Red carpet stalwarts like Jennifer Lawrence and Cate Blanchett have been around, but in all it’s been kind of a low-key year sartorially speaking, so I was pleasantly surprised by the A-game the Oscars brought out last night. Anyway, Fluffy has been geared up for this carpet for months with a bitchin’ dress I stole from some rando at Cannes.
I’m looking good if I do say so myself. The ballgown is by Gyunel Couture, makeup by yours truly, hair and styling by Photoshop. No, I was only there in spirit. I do this every year, so I can feel more a part of Oscar night, and finding my red carpet gown is always a small highlight of my award season blogs. Anyway, as Bugs and Daffy would say, on with the show, this is it.
MEGA-CATEGORY: THE HOSTESSES WITH THE MOSTESSES
Every year, the entertainment press covering the arrivals interview attendees, provide commentary, and ensure a better experience for viewers, all while dressed to rival the nominees themselves (they often snag best-dressed honors too). This category is for these tireless ladies who are here to work, and look great doing it.
I’m not crazy about the fit of this mermaid dress. The dress itself is a little too high-school prom for me.
Siriano is always a bit of a mixed bag to me, but this is one of his better pieces. The detailing turns a Generic Column Dress™(albeit one in a lovely shade of peach) into something that looks like the interior of a nautilus shell. Very nice.
The Project Runway host would look lovely in this lilac chiffon confection were it not for That. Sleeve. The whole thing, from the enormous flower thing on the shoulder to the, uh, smaller flower thing on the wrist (Thing One and Thing Two?), has got to GTFO.
Giuliana Rancic in Georges ChakraI don’t have enough good words about this dress, it’s so cute. The floral theme carries onto the attached train and features a backless look. Am in love with it. Want to take it home with me.
Liz Hernandez in Michael CostelloOn the fence about this one. Is it fun, or just overdone? I like it, but yet I can’t commit to that liking wholeheartedly, so I will move on before I overthink things.
CATEGORY: MOST IMPROVED
PATRICIA ARQUETTE IN MARINA RINALDIPatricia doesn’t usually get included in these roundups because I can seldom think of anything to say about what she’s wearing, aside from “meh”. However, I am quite fond of this royal blue gown with its architectural neckline. Pretty cool, accessorized with a match (the clutch) and a contrast (the earrings). Well played, you.
EMILY BLUNT IN PRADAI literally could not decide which one of these expectant moms was the most adorable, because all of them are radiant and have gorgeous dresses, though each is styled quite differently. Chrissy is Chrissy, and as such is a flawlessly real goddess in ruby red, while Hannah goes for a dramatic look in black and gold and Emily plays up the feminine in her blush-pink, crystal-embellished style. Which is your favorite?
CATEGORY: THE CINDERELLA AWARD
CATEGORY: THE SILVER MEDAL
CATEGORY: PRETTY IN PINK
JENNIFER JASON LEIGH IN RODARTEThis dress, with its dimensional floral pattern and minimalist ruffles, is super-cute, but Jennifer looks slightly awkward in it, as if she feels it’s not exactly her style. Own it, sweetie! You look fine.
CATEGORY: MOST BRILLIANT
AMY POEHLER IN ANDREW GNThe bold butterfly garden on Amy’s dress is a departure from her usual style, but it’s a head-turner and I like it. On another note, I’m seeing this hairstyle a lot today; not sure how I feel about that yet.
TINA FEY IN VERSACEOkay, these aren’t exactly the same, but you have to look twice to see the differences. While Reese’s dress features boning and a sculptural bustier top, Tina’s features an asymmetrical wrap and shirred bodice. Both look beautiful but I’m giving the nod to Tina for presentation; Reese’s bracelets and loose hair are cute, but Tina’s updo and ginormous sapphire-and-diamond necklace are pure glam.
CATEGORY: THE GOLD MEDAL
MARGOT ROBBIE IN TOM FORDWhile I’m not generally a Ford fan (he is one of the most egregious perpetrators of the Generic Column Dress™), this shimmering snake-scale dress has caught my attention in the best way. Can I nominate Ford for Most Improved Designer?
CATEGORY: GOTHIC GLAM
CATEGORY: RED ROYALTY
CATEGORY: THE EFFORTLESS AWARD
SOPHIE TURNER IN GALVANLove the unfussy lines of this design, also a sustainable one like the Westwood on Lily Cole above, but couldn’t be more different in terms of style. Loose hair styled in beachy waves, strappy sandals and a statement necklace complete this deconstructed look.
CATEGORY: MOST DRAMATIC
CATEGORY: THE FAIRY PRINCESS AWARD
ISLA FISHER IN MARCHESASo ethereal and pretty! A watercolor garden blooms across this delicate gown, and it’s giving me life. I’d have favored a more subtle lip shade with this look, but I love the manicure and the hair.
CATEGORY: THE GODDESS AWARD
LADY GAGA IN BRANDON MAXWELLIt’s pants, it’s a ballgown, it’s everything. Gaga is a shot of Old Hollywood with a modern twist in this design with its sculptural bodice and flowing train. She oozes glamour and class for days.
CATEGORY: MOST INTRICATE
ROONEY MARA IN GIVENCHYThat embroidery is just so, so detailed… like a floral labyrinth. A keyhole cutout, buttons, and a sweep train add to the complexity. Rooney is back to her severe hair and makeup look; the softer vibe was nice while it lasted.
CATEGORY: LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
CATEGORY: THE DIVALICIOUS AWARD
CATEGORY: THE MONOCHROME AWARD OF MERIT
KERRY WASHINGTON IN ATELIER VERSACEBlack and white never looked so hot! A leather bustier top combines with a feminine flowy train for a duality that works. Also, those shoes. Just… those shoes. I need them.
CATEGORY: THE BLUE RIBBON
BRIE LARSON IN GUCCIWow, this dress is so pretty! Knife-pleated tulle pleats in a dramatic sapphire train, sheer overlay on the plunging bodice, and a gorgeous belt combine for extra visual interest, as if the color wasn’t enough! Whoa. Love.
CATEGORY: THE DAZZLE AWARD
CATEGORY: THE SHINING STAR
CATEGORY: THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL
CATEGORY: THE LITTLE MERMAID THAT COULD
SAOIRSE RONAN IN CALVIN KLEIN
The best CK dress I’ve seen all year, bar none. Sequined, beaded, iridescent fish scales and textured waves adorn this awesome mermaid tail of a gown. Matching green jewels and floaty hair complete the amazing look.
CATEGORY: THE ODDBALL AWARD
SANDY POWELL IN HER OWN DESIGNMaybe more sort of a space oddity than a true oddball, costume design wiz Sandy created this look in tribute to the late David Bowie, but it’s a little jarring nonetheless. We appreciate the sentiment, though.
CATEGORY: THE VELVET ELVIS
JULIANNE MOORE IN CHANELIt’s a lace dress, but that fuzzy trim is the literal worst. It makes what would have been a perfectly serviceable ball gown into a goth Christmas tree. (The title of this award comes from a Weird Al song. “Velvet Elvis, he’s so fuzzy! Velvet Elvis, he’s so great!” Okay. Shutting up now.)
CATEGORY: BEST ACCESSORIZATION
CATEGORY: WORST ACCESSORIZATION
WHOOPI GOLDBERG IN THE DAMES NYNo problem with the dress, which is really pretty and was inspired by one worn by Bette Davis in All About Eve, I am just beyond creeped out by the squid that’s eating her hand.
CATEGORY: THE DARE TO BARE AWARD
CATEGORY: WHITE LACE AND PROMISES
PRIYANKA CHOPRA IN ZUHAIR MURADThis is the award for the best wedding dress on the carpet. Not necessarily a wedding dress, but I’d certainly get married in it if I wasn’t already. Check out this beautiful floral garden of a gown, with the coolest belt ever and the perfect train, and tell me you wouldn’t, too.
CATEGORY: NOT-SO-BASIC BLACK
SARAH SILVERMAN IN ZAC POSENIt’s a very plain silhouette, but the peplum is everything. It gives structure to the straight lines of the column and rescuing it from boredom. Sarah’s hair and matching earrings are on point, too.
CATEGORY: WORST DRESSED
CHARLOTTE RAMPLING IN ARMANI PRIVEThis is just headache-inducing, like those magic-eye things from the nineties that I never could get to work. The shoes are really cute, but they don’t make up for the dress. Nothing could.
CATEGORY: BEST DRESSED
ALICIA VIKANDER IN LOUIS VUITTONThese three are all equally gorgeous, and there was no way I could choose one over any of the others for Best Dressed honors. Cate looks enchanting in a floral aquamarine masterpiece; she always shows up in something dreamy that only she could make work (#princessgoals). Kate’s black gown looks like poured liquid held exempt from gravity by magic, and it’s so cool I really just can’t even. Alicia has a princess look going on too, and while I’ve seen comparisons between her gown and the one worn by Disney Princess Belle, I don’t see any resemblance beyond the color tbh. It’s completely its own original thing, and it’s amazeballs.
SPECIAL CATEGORY: THE FLUFFY AWARD
CHLOE PIRRIE IN KARLA OTTO LONDONI love everything about this dress! As we know, this award is reserved for the one look most in keeping with my own personal aesthetic– the dress I might have picked for myself. The bodice is Art Deco inspired, which I love, and that the whole thing is electric blue is just bonus.
AAAAAND THERE WE HAVE IT. That’s all for the 2016 awards season! Hope you’ve enjoyed this long strange trip with me, and had as much fun as I did! Fluffy will see you around, lovelies…