While not a part of the Oscar race, the Grammy Awards are an MVP of awards season. This is a red carpet that doesn’t take itself too seriously, which can lead to lots of randomness and unintentional hilarity. Let’s check out some sartorial moxie and madness.
Category: Most Improved
Kaley Cuoco in Naeem Khan
From Sad Candy Cane to shiny star, Kaley is back in fine form once again. Geometric beading and cutouts make this jumpsuit a fun, memorable look.
Madison Beer in Alexander McQueen
This itty bitty floral minidress is so cute I want to hug it. And then steal her shoes. I have never heard of this kid, but she has managed to snag a great stylist.
Category: The Gold Medal
Giuliana Rancic in Jani & Khosla
Wow. Giuliana is channeling her inner Cleopatra in this beaded creation with a grommet-adorned skirt, accessorized with gilded sandals, cuff bracelets, and slicked-back hair. Love it.
Category: Best Menswear
Zendaya in DSquared2
Zendaya slays the androgynous look in this cool, casual-chic suit, and she makes a mullet look fly. Loving the rings stacked up on her hand, too!
Category: The Cinderella Award
Lianne la Havas in Vivienne Westwood
Such a gorgeous ball gown in such an amazing color! This peridot/chartreuse hue is a rarity on the red carpet and always pops when it appears! Bonus points for the sparkly platforms.
Category: Red Royalty
Ariana Grande in Romona Keveza
Ariana is flawless in this fitted corset-styled dress with a dramatic train and about a bazillion buttons down the back (a couple hundred in front, too). Best smoky eye of the day, and jewels on point!
Category: Best Homage
Lady Gaga in Marc Jacobs
Gaga performed an amazing tribute to David Bowie during the program, but her red carpet look also paid respect to the late legend, featuring hair, makeup and costuming inspired by his glam-rock days, complete with mega-platforms. Let’s have a brief moment of silence.
Category: The Circus Circus Award
Manika in ARThur Christine
Not sure if this outfit belongs under the big top or on a Vegas stage, so this award (created specifically for this outfit) gives it credit for both. It’s wacky, not in a particularly good way, but is pushed into the realm of People of Walmart by the all-too-visible granny bra she’s wearing with it. Who is this chick anyway? She doesn’t even go here!
Ciara in Alexandre Vauthier
Crazy dress. Well, almost a dress; it’s more like a combination onesie/loincloth. The top isn’t well fitted, and the bottom is an impending wardrobe malfunction. On the plus side, her hair and makeup are on fleek and I love that diamond ring.
Category: Just Suit Me
Bonnie McKee in Bullet Apparel
This suit is definitely not menswear-style AT ALL. But it is cute, sparkly fun. Also have to award Best Hair of the evening for her perfect pink waves.
Category: Most Intricate
Diamond White in J Pelarsky
The strategic filigree embroidery on this sheer dress is gorgeous. Manika should take a cue here: sheer can be all good, but it’s for showing off your bod, not your drawers.
Category: The Shining Star
Florence Welch in Gucci
Quite literally, in this case: the stars are sequined, or beads. I want to dislike this dress so much, but I find I cannot. There is something so self-aware and humorous at work in this look, not to mention it’s just so retro I could die. Plus, YELLOW MOONS! ORANGE STARS! And… Bronze dragonflies?? I don’t care if it’s half a bowl of Lucky Charms, it’s cool, and I like it.
Category: The Technicolor Award
Kacey Musgraves in Armani Privé
Not sure who this girl is either, but I read that she records in a Genre That Must Not Be Named, and that is one bright dress. I’m also not sure why it’s… I dunno…squiggly. The colors are beautiful, she’s well-styled, and in the bizarro version of the previous category, I want to like this so much, but find I cannot. It reminds me of those popcorn shirts that were trendy in the early oughts, themselves not a good memory.
Category: The Effortless Award
Adele in Givenchy
This is a great look for Adele. At first the dress looks really simple, but then the details start to stand out, and you realize what a beautiful work of wearable art it is. And she looks like she just got out of bed looking like that. It isn’t fair.
Category: Little Miss Sunshine
Vanessa Simmons in Jean-Louis Sabaji
How awesome is this? I’m like stunned. I love yellow on the carpet, and this is just an incredible use of one of my favorite colors. Slayyy.
Category: Gothic Glam
Jazmine Sullivan in Michael Costello
And a serious contender for the Extra-Special Fluffy Award for the dress I would have chosen for myself. This mermaid gown is built for curves, and those sleeves. I heart this in every way possible and need this dress in my life.
Category: Most Brilliant
Taylor Swift in Atelier Versace
Taylor is always beautifully put together, but this look is more about fun. She genuinely seemed to be having a great time all evening in these mismatched separates that somehow work. Plus, she’s debuting a new hairstyle that’s really cute on her, and I love that multicolored necklace.
Category: Pretty in Pink
Ellie Goulding in Stella McCartney
I love this shade of pink; it reminds me of rose quartz or pink champagne. It’s a simple design that feels a little seventies retro. Ellie also inspires major Hair Envy and makeup goals.
Category: The Major Award (aka Fragíle)
Carrie Underwood in Nicolas Jebran
If you don’t know what this new award signifies, or why it’s called that, you and I can’t be friends. Anyway, all that’s missing is a fishnet stocking and a wall outlet. Sorry! I had to do it! Lol forever.
Category: Best Accessorization
Demi Lovato in Norisol Ferrari
I don’t know if that’s a body chain or part of the jacket, but I love it either way. Also, those insanely detailed rings are gorgeous, and those pointy patent platform pumps (dear god, try saying that ten times fast!) are ah-mazing. Oh, the dress is cute too.
Category: Green Goddess
Tori Kelly in Gauri & Nainika
Love, love, love this structured, asymmetrical emerald gown (is it just me, or does this label out-Posen Zac Posen?), accented with pink accessories which harmonize nicely with the bright green.
Category: The Oddball Award
Elle King in Christian Siriano
Not that Elle is an oddball; Elle is lovely. She has a serious Mae West thing going on here. But the dress is eating her alive. Fringe and feathers?! One or the other, but never together! It’s just too much. Love the beaded lily appliqués, but they’re lost in all the extraneousness. This is why I have issues with Siriano. He keeps adding stuff until it’s a mess.
Category: The Blue Ribbon
Ashley Monroe in Georges Hobeika
Another new face to me, Ashley is rocking the hell out of this turquoise, keyhole-bodice Grecian column. So ethereal. I don’t know why this strikes me as something Luna Lovegood would wear to the Yule Ball (and look brilliant in), but it does.
Category: The Midnight Special
Meghan Trainor in Michael Costello
All aglitter like a night sky, this is a beautiful look on Best New Artist Meghan. I miss her blonde hair, but will comfort myself with her adorable shoes.
Category: The WTF Award
Janelle Monae in Jean-Paul Gaultier
The top of this is really cute. The skirt looks like a whoopie cushion. Does it make fart noises when she sits down? It’s a skirt that’s forgotten how to skirt. You had one job, skirt! (Insert random flatulent sounds). Omg, brb, roflmao.
Bella Hadid in Alexandre Vauthier, Allesandra Ambrosio in Versace
These two gowns come from different designers, but are so much alike it’s scary. Maybe there really isn’t anything new under the sun. The cutouts and necklines are identical. While Bella’s has long sleeves and is accented with pearl beads, and Allesandra’s is accented with panels of different fabric, the patterns are just too similar and I’m a leetle creeped out. Oh well, at least Allesandra wins Best Shoes.
Category: Worst Dressed
Dencia in… Sanrio, I guess?
No. Just no. What did those poor kitties do to deserve this?
Category: Best Dressed
Selena Gomez in Calvin Klein
We have here a whole bunch of Wow and some Whoa thrown in for good measure. CK has really stepped up their game this award season, and while this design may exhibit their usual streamlined silhouette, it’s far from dull. The deep cobalt blue color is ah-mazing on Selena, and it’s just so shimmery and mermaid-y and cool. (Selena later inexplicably changed into a slightly less-cute-but-still-cute red dress, but this is the one that does it for me.)
Special Category: The Fluffy Award
Diana Gloster in Tarik Ediz
The Fluffy Award goes to the night’s best representation of my personal sense of style– in other words, the dress I’d have picked for myself. I am categorically unable to resist any item with musical scores printed on it, and if said item is a ball gown, I am literally dead. This dress has killed me with its crowning awesomeness. Yet another artist I have never heard of until now (is Fluffy getting old or something? I never had this problem till this year), but she has my everlasting goodwill.
Okay, we have concluded this brief stop in the music industry and will return to our regularly scheduled Oscar race. See you next go-round!